Mathematically Optimal Ways to Escape A Car When It’s Raining And You Forgot The Umbrella

It happened again. You didn’t notice the gloomy skies as you pulled out of your driveway to go to Home Depot, and now you’re umbrella-less and sitting in their parking lot, watching the raindrops bead up and flow down your windshield. Worse yet, their New Grill November sale has summoned every dad within a 25 mile radius to the store…