Mathematically Optimal Ways to Escape A Car While It’s Raining

It happened again. You didn’t notice the gloomy skies as you pulled out of your driveway to go to Home Depot, and now you’re umbrella-less and sitting in their parking lot, watching the raindrops bead up and flow down your windshield. Worse yet, their New Grill November sale has summoned every dad within a 25 mile radius to the store, forcing you to park in the back of the lot. You…